{"id":600,"date":"2023-12-20T10:04:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-20T10:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/?p=600"},"modified":"2024-01-03T05:46:31","modified_gmt":"2024-01-03T05:46:31","slug":"why-is-comparing-your-child-to-others-is-futile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/why-is-comparing-your-child-to-others-is-futile\/","title":{"rendered":"Why is comparing your child to others is futile?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Every child is special and unique.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

A wrongly used strategy for evaluating your students\u2019 development is comparison. Assessing whether your child\u2019s academic achievements are \u201cnormal\u201d, better, or great by comparing their grades with other students is a futile act.<\/p>\n

Then, in an effort to inspire our own child, we turn to cite the success of other kids. For instance, \u201cLook, Vinita\u2019s son got 90%\u201d or \u201cYour neighbour Vikram won the signing contest.\u201d \u201cLearn from other children. Stop lingering around the area and enrol in some lessons.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although you don\u2019t mean to demotivate your child, some verbal comments unintentionally cause more harm than good. It might be difficult to resist the impulse to compare your child to others, even though doing so is pointless and stressful for both you and your child.<\/p>\n

Effects of Comparing Your Child To Others<\/strong><\/p>\n

A child\u2019s progress must be with his\/her past performances and not with peers.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Comparisons<\/a>\u00a0can have a detrimental impact on a child\u2019s development and progress. Parents are also impacted by this in some manner in addition to the child. It makes parents question if they are being a good parent or providing enough for their children.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Lack of confidence results in forceful parenting<\/li>\n
  2. The youngster experiences a decline in self-esteem brought on by self-doubt<\/li>\n
  3. The bond between parents and children could be ruined<\/li>\n
  4. The child grows in an unfavourable environment stunting their development<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Important Things to Remember about Child Development<\/strong><\/p>\n

    When major tensions threaten their family and caregiving situations, even newborns and young children are negatively impacted.<\/p>\n

    Unfavourable prenatal and early childhood events can alter the brain\u2019s structure and chemistry in ways that can last a lifetime. Severe neglect poses an even massive harm to growth and health<\/a> than physical assault<\/p>\n

    Young children<\/a>\u00a0who underwent extended periods of neglect display more severe cognitive impairments, concentration issues, language deficits, scholastic challenges, withdrawn conduct, and issues with peer interaction as they become older in comparison to kids who were the victims of overt physical abuse. This implies that receiving less attention in early relationships may be more harmful to the developing brain\u2019s architecture than physical damage.<\/p>\n

    Life consequences are not only decided by genes; development is a highly involved process<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Before and shortly after birth, a person encounters significant events that chemically alter some genes, determining how much and when they are expressed. As a result, while environmental circumstances have the power to change family inheritance, genetic factors have a strong impact on human development. For instance, infants are born with the ability to acquire impulse control, attentional concentration, and memory retention, but their early experiences create the groundwork for how effectively these and other executive function abilities develop.<\/p>\n

    Different Stages in Child Development<\/strong><\/p>\n

    There are 5 stages in child development\u2013 newborn, infant, toddler, preschool and school age.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    School age is when the comparison with others tends to happen. Constructive comparison is good but it should not surpass beyond a certain limit. Comparison should only be made with peers for the child to receive proper feedback instead of negative criticism.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Stop Comparing your Child to Others<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Remind yourself that there is a better choice than comparison<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Occasionally, parents adopt the erroneous belief that pressuring their children to continuously measure up to others will somehow boost their motivation and potential. This is blatantly false. Please remember that communicating things related to a child\u2019s performance should be done emphatically and responsibly. Comparing your child to others never helps!<\/p>\n

    Inform yourself that the comparison is inaccurate<\/p>\n

    Firstly, understand that a child\u2019s growth is influenced by a variety of things, including their physical and mental capabilities as well as the environment in which they learn. Speak to your child and attempt to make it simpler if they are having trouble understanding lessons or learning things.<\/p>\n

    Build Trust<\/p>\n

    Sorry to put this in strong terms but you are a lousy parent if your own kids don\u2019t trust you. You are also a lousy parent if you draw comparisons all the time. Combining the two, if you give your child the impression that they are a burden on you, they will lose faith in you, and that is detrimental to their overall growth.<\/p>\n

    It could make you less advantageous<\/p>\n

    Nobody enjoys continually being judged by others, and when your own parents are being so critical, it\u2019s much more painful and embarrassing. It\u2019s critical that you comprehend how constantly comparing your child to others can lead them to believe they are inadequate, damaging their self-esteem and is something you definitely don\u2019t want. They could even begin to dislike you.<\/p>\n

    A Food For Thought<\/strong><\/p>\n

    As working professionals, mostly masking it up as fully-grown and responsible adults, we perform better when our shortcomings are pointed out without any blithe comparisons with others. Would it be a lie if we say that we don\u2019t like to be compared and pitched incessantly against our peers?\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Think about the young ones who are still figuring out their lives. It is more rational to focus on\u00a0 a child\u2019s individual needs rather than pointing fingers at them when they perform poorly. Nurturing a child involves being thoughtful, kind and understanding of their situations.<\/p>\n

    Hand Holding them in their hours of challenges and letting them go when they find a path of their own defines being a good parent. You would want your child to come back to you for help, right? Hearing them out and treating their every fear as valid would make you their safe space. In no time, you would become their most reliable and favourite human. That would be a win for all\u2013 your child and you!<\/p>\n

    Smile Foundation<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Smile Foundation<\/a>\u00a0is actively involved in educating the urban village and rural communities of India about the negative effects of comparing your child to others. Click\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0to learn how you can be involved in supporting the children in need.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Every child is special and unique. A wrongly used strategy for evaluating your students\u2019 development is comparison. Assessing whether your child\u2019s academic achievements are \u201cnormal\u201d, better, or great by comparing their grades with other students is a futile act. Then, in an effort to inspire our own child, we turn to cite the success of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7241,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-smile"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}