{"id":2833,"date":"2017-10-10T22:15:00","date_gmt":"2017-10-10T22:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/?p=2833"},"modified":"2022-11-19T10:17:49","modified_gmt":"2022-11-19T10:17:49","slug":"depression-doesnt-discriminate-between-genders","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/depression-doesnt-discriminate-between-genders\/","title":{"rendered":"Depression Doesn\u2019t Discriminate Between Genders"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Life feels like a blank sometimes. A big blank. People told me I could fill it with whatever I want. But the thing is, you know what I really wanted? To fill it with nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was scared to say it out loud. Depression. \u201cStop acting like a baby, and man up\u201d- that\u2019s the first thing my dad said to me when I told him what I was going through. That\u2019s when everything went downhill.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

My dad had always been that role model who represented everything \u2018masculine\u2019, and strong. In retrospect, I ask myself what it even means? I was told that I can\u2019t be depressed because I am a man. But what they don\u2019t realize is depression doesn\u2019t care about your gender. It catches you by surprise, and seeps through your entire existence. I had the perfect everything. And out of nowhere, it\u2019s like my stars decided to turn against me, and EVERYONE around me started doubting and questioning my capabilities. I have always been the proud one, but then, I mean, I don\u2019t know to explain this, but your self worth takes a dip, right? When everyone is saying it should?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

For one entire year, I didn\u2019t leave my room. I haven\u2019t always lived in Delhi, I come from a small city, and I don\u2019t know how much you know about small cities. But there, everyone knows everyone. For months, my friends and relatives would come to my house, and I\u2019d tell my sister to send them away. I had reached a point where I couldn\u2019t bear to look at anyone, or have any human interaction. I had isolated myself, and it was satisfying. What I hadn\u2019t realized back then was how mortifying it is- that isolation, and in all probability, I only made matters worse for myself.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

My life kept circling between depression, and round trips to Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune- and repeat. Rejections kept pouring down on me, and all I could really ask- what was the point? But I knew my younger sister\u2019s responsibility was still on me, and I couldn\u2019t just give up. After months of futility, Delhi became my last stunt. I swear I haven\u2019t told anyone this, but I was shivering. When I got to Delhi, I was shivering because I knew there was no way I could get a job. But I had to try. I owed that to my sister.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

I guess you would have already figured by now that I got it. I got that job. And honestly, I haven\u2019t looked back at those people in my life who told me I was worth nothing. My work has helped me give meaning to my life. I have always been of the belief that hope is the strongest currency we have. I want people to know \u2013 don\u2019t ever lose hope. It\u2019s the key to your soul.<\/p>\n

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Life feels like a blank sometimes. A big blank. People told me I could fill it with whatever I want. But the thing is, you know what I really wanted? To fill it with nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was scared to say it out loud. Depression. \u201cStop acting like a baby, and man up\u201d- that\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2837,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-from-the-people-for-the-people"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2833","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2833"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2833\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.smilefoundationindia.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}